As a warning, this week's post will be about homosexuality. This particular subject is a wonderful one to discuss, however it can bring a lot of hostility and controversy. To be clear, none of the information enclosed is to cause discomfort or a fight. It is purely out of scientific evidence, discussion, and love of fellow men.
Have you ever talked to someone who identifies themselves as gay or lesbian, who claims that they are "born this way"? Did you ever wonder if that claim is true? Well, scientists sure did. There were multiple studies performed on identical twins. Ideally, because identical twins have identical DNA, if one twin is gay then the other should be, as well, if it is genetic, right? Well, that's not what the results showed. One study concluded that only 52% claimed that both were gay, and another study in Australia concluded that only 11% claimed to both be gay. I don't know about you, but I find that to be incredibly intriguing. But if homosexuality isn't something people are born with, then how does it happen?
Studies have shown that those who identify as homosexual have been sexually abused or molested. Or, their home environment is one where they seek to feel loved. For example, if a boy is raised in a home where there father is neglectful and/or abusive, he will want to have that void to be filled, most likely by a male figure because that is the relationship that is vacant. Then, because they like that connection with the male figure, they believe themselves to be gay. Or, if the child has been molested or abused, they often find themselves in a cycle of guilt and confusion. Confusion because they liked the feelings but they didn't ask for them or long for them. And guilt because they didn't say no to something they didn't want. So after going through this cycle and trying to make sense of something that will never make sense, these kids begin to identify themselves as gay solely because they believe that is the only reason as to why they would be feeling the way that they do. These are examples of unwanted homosexual attraction. If you find that you have unwanted homosexual attraction and you long for a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, then that is wonderful and not impossible to do. If you are homosexual for these reasons or others and you feel comfortable with your lifestyle, then I am not asking you to change. This article is solely for everyone to understand where this may come from.
Also, my teacher brought up another interesting point I wanted to discuss because this is something else that is also very controversial. He gave an example of two parents having a conversation with friends about their five year old child. In a relieved manner, they say, "Yep, we figured out that he/she is gay/lesbian. Now we can finally help them get treated." Don't worry, it's perfectly acceptable to make a funky face or have your jaw drop. Mine totally did. Unlike what many people may believe, homosexuality is not a disease and children don't think romantically or sexually the way teenagers and adults do. If your child is presenting behaviors, do not label them, for they are likely to be bullied and excluded from peers and you, especially when they were labeled as something they most likely are not. I am not trying reprimand anyone, but I am hoping to get across that it is important to not judge your child or have your adult views forget that your child is just that: a child.
Please believe me when I say that we are loved, no matter how we identify ourselves. If you or anyone else is in need of this post or is seeking help for whatever it may be, please extend a hand of love.
Until next time,
Toni Jo
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