Last week, we talked about different family trends and structures within a home. This week, I would like to discuss family culture. No, I'm not talking about the bacteria that's currently growing on the cheese in your family's fridge. These cultures are interconnected with family trends, but are, essentially, how these families act.
Let's start off with some definitions of the words tradition, ritual, and culture. Tradition is an intergenerational and/or inherited pattern of behavior or beliefs. An example would be faith or religion that is passed down through family lines. Rituals are daily or annual doings. This would be like putting your pants on before putting on your socks and shoes, every day. Culture is the attitude and behavior of a particular social group. Now I have a feeling that I know what you're thinking; "What is my family culture and the traditions and rituals we do?" Or at least something along those lines. How about I lay out a few hypothetical family cultures and you see if you can find any patterns in behavior or status.
Family 1. The parents are happily married, the whole family participates in everything, the house is huge and gorgeous, and dad or mom have a high-and-mighty job.
Family 2. Mom and/or Dad work at an ok job, they try to spend as much time with their kids as possible, budgets might be tight but are manageable, and the house isn't the best but its not the worst.
Family 3. Mom or Dad's out of the picture and has been for a while, the only parent at home is never at home, the parent (and sometimes the kids) works one or a few low paying jobs, the home is less than par, and there is no time to participate in activities because the family is just getting by.
Notice anything? While many people don't want to accept it, our society still has social class systems, and this often affects how we treat others or categorize each other. I know I'm guilty of this. I grew up in a town where you have the upper class neighborhood wtih the middle and lower classes right next to them or just in the other town. Do you find that you tend to judge, literally, your neighbor or that others judge you based on your social class? Do you find that your family's culture is not exactly what you would like to live like? Does your family have traditions or rituals you really enjoy and agree with, and/or are there any that you wish to change?
Well, if you find you answered yes to any of these questions, there is great news: you are more than capable to do something about this! You can start understanding your neighbors more and their stories by befriending them. You can make a physical or mental list of goals or traditions you wish to set for your current and/or future families and present them with loved ones. You can also remember that no family is perfect and that life is a game of survival with a family as the game players. No matter what your current situation, just do your best to not judge yourselves or others.
Until Next Time,
Toni Jo Despain
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