Picture a moment in time when someone close to you told you they were getting married. Whether this has happened or not, I would like for you to think of the very first thing you thought of when they told you or when you hear the word "marriage". Did you think of a wedding? That is not uncommon, however it is important to remember that the marriage is not the wedding. The wedding is merely the celebration of the start of the marriage. However, the planning of the wedding is a huge and pivotal moment in the couples final moments before being a married couple. We call this planning period an "engagement".
While the engagement period is a super exciting and stressful time, it is a testing period of sorts. Couples will need to work together to plan not only their wedding, but their marriage. What conditions do you have for your marriage? Perhaps you have certain ways you would like to discipline your current and/or future children, how you would like to budget and what to budget for, and/or house rules. A good way to set the foundation of your home and marriage is to lay out your conditions and listen to your partner's. You may find that your conditions are similar or different, which will cause for discussion. For example, my loved one and I love animals and hope to have some of our own someday. We got on the topic of cats and declawing them. He was all for it for various reasons and I was completely hysterical because I could not understand why anyone would want to declaw their cat. I took a vet class and one of the topics was declawing and how painful and often unnecessary it is. For me, that was just a common rule that we weren't going to do that to a cat and I didn't realize that that was not a rule to him. Because of this, we came to a compromise and have moved passed the issue and topic. Now, there are far more stressful and important topics of discussion for engaged and married couples, but the moral of the story was that it is important to communicate concerns and conditions in order to compromise and become compatible.
My older sister is getting married in a few months and asked if there was any advice for the wedding planning. Based on what I have learned from class this week, it is to trust in your partner. But, it is also important to watch your money. Many people end up either taking out a loan for their wedding or rings and go into debt, borrow money from parents which binds them closer to them in a way they most likely did not want, or they end up waiting for years and years to save up enough money. I am not trying to say that a super cheap wedding is the way to go. What I am saying is that it is important to carefully consider your options and make the best ones for you and your partner. Your wedding is only one day. Sure, you may have the pictures and the memory forever, but make sure to remember that your marriage is to last forever, too.
Until next time,
Toni Jo Despain
No comments:
Post a Comment